“I am a pastor and admittedly, I came into it feeling arrogant. “I don’t struggle with this stuff. But let’s see if *other guys* might find it useful.” As you might guess, the Lord has been moving in me, in powerful ways. Layers and triggers that I never knew existed. This morning I found myself weeping uncontrollably (I don’t cry a lot) after doing the exercise in the “Triggers” section. I’ve felt weird all day. Not bad. Just… different. Like I saw a part of me that’s been there for 25 years, but I didn’t know it was there. Thanks for your ministry. Awesome stuff. God is wrecking me, in the best way possible!”
“I have been waiting for something like this for along time. Thank you LORD for the answer to my prayer.”
“I’m about half way through the small group experience. It is critical to my pilgrimage. Has elevated my engagement with the process, and has been very helpful to hear from other real men. I’m not yet free, but on my way, and for the first time in years I have a hope that it is possible.”
“This is the journey I’ve been waiting to take! Peace out to fear! Ready to expose some real brokenness for real healing!”
“My Pilgrimage was the one resource that allowed my husband to feel like there was help and hope— and that he wasn’t alone. We both feel so grateful to the brave men that shared their stories openly and honestly. Their courage is honoring God already!”
“My name is Chris. I am currently serving in the military, going to school, starting a family, and until recently, was battling an addiction to porn. I bought your book “Feels Like Redemption” because something had to change, and I was ready to actually FEEL freedom. I didn’t want to just avoid looking, I wanted to feel freedom. For awhile it was like I took off one set of chains and put on another. Your book has changed my entire outlook on addiction.
It’s not battle to be fought, it’s a sacred pilgrimage. I remember reading the chapter where Dave was teaching on how to meditate and how he said to say these 4 statements out loud, regardless of if I think they are morally correct or not.
‘My body has been given to me and I can do whatever I want with it without shame’ was one in particular that affected me deeply.
It really allowed me to release the grip I have had on my beliefs and to allow myself to experience something so human. This has been very important to me on my sacred pilgrimage.
Anyways, I feel that this is a huge problem of our times. People will be needing more and more help from those who have navigated and are navigating this pilgrimage. The work that you and me and so many of my friends are putting in right now is laying the foundation for future generations to build on.
I firmly believe that we are pioneering a new paradigm shift in humanity.
It’s not a battle. It’s a pilgrimage. Freedom should FEEL like something. Do we ACTUALLY believe what we believe or is it just blowing smoke? I am passionate about what this can do for us as humans. We are truly paving the way for a evolutionary change in the way humans interact with their own sexuality.
Thank you for leading the way on this. I’ve been meditating daily for a month or so now and I am actually beginning to FEEL freedom.
I have never been closer to myself or to The Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit ever in my life and I haven’t been to church in weeks.
Thank you Seth and Dave for paving the way. I would love to be an advocate for your ground-breaking work and to expand on it so that we can take the next step forward as a species.”
“My name is Steve. I’m a mid-twenties guy. I work with University Students in Germany. I studied ministry, philosophy, and theology in Idaho and Illinois. Porn has been a part of my life since I was young.
I’ve been around the XXXchurch world off and on for the last 12 years, always a fan of how they’ve enable good conversations, both in my life and for others, and yet never moved beyond the breaking of taboo. I’ve never tried the programs they offered, mostly because I’ve always been pretty poor, but also because I’ve had a growing aversion to CBT approaches to what Jesus is doing. I’ve mostly used the accountability software, and then deleted the newsletters.
But for some reason, I opened one. It talked about this My Pilgrimage thing. I don’t know why, but I clicked on the video… and something happened deep in my chest. I think it was hope.
It took a bit of work to get the books over here, but they arrived yesterday, and as I started to chew on the first few pages today, I can already tell that the Spirit is doing something deep here. But it’s more than just an intuition. The approach described and the tools used, although placed in super accessible language, move in a theological direction that is exactly what I need right now. Embodied, aware theology… journey… and a request to not just become more self-aware.
I’ve been hungry for this kind of thinking. I’ve needed some approach to my porn story that includes these elements.
And I’m really thankful for that. I’m really thankful for your voice, and the way that it is already bringing hope into my world. I trust there’s good things to come from this.”
“I’m not sure if you will get this reply. It may just go back to your spam folder, but I want you to know that these e-mails make a difference. I signed up with an X3coach in October. After a successful couple of months, making my way through the My Pilgrimage book, videos and workbook, everything came to a halt about two weeks before I finished my 90 days of sobriety. I messed up. I looked at porn and spent the next two days binging. Since then, I’ve had some good days and some bad days, but the road has been decidedly tougher over the last month. The last couple of days have been a series of relapses. However, I have hope. I have hope because of what you said in your e-mail. I read it when I was sitting in guilt and shame (which I know are both completely false). I have been addicted to porn for 27 years. It’s going to take longer than 5 months to pull through this and find freedom. This is a journey, and I feel like the resources and support your group provides will help me get through it. Thank you.”
“Great book, but impact would be lost on me without the group experience. It is exactly that, a pilgrimage, and the hope I now have has come from sharing with a fine group of men. Thanks for the opportunity!“
“Seth, your core message in this video resonated with my heart and my own long standing convictions. I think there is an epic battle to be waged, but isn’t it just like the enemy to get us to point our swords and strife inward. I agree that Christ came to show us the way home, and this requires an inner pilgrimage… the path toward “being the beloved” as Nouwen would say. Your wording and proposal is a rare treat… and I know just HOW rare because ALL the other books and “battle strategies” come across my desk.”
“Thank you – what you have shared really blessed me and resonates… esp. love the Watchman Nee quote – that’s new to me and hits the spot.”
“Man, I get this. This might be one of the scariest things a Christian might have to do, but to examine the nature of belief… to pose the question, ‘What if I am totally wrong about Jesus?’
Even scarier yet, what if there is a greater truth out there that makes allowances for the Christian faith? That every true thing I have experienced as a Christian is contained within something else?
Here is the truth: I’ve been a Christian my whole life, I am a leader in the church and I regularly do all the things a good Christian should do. I speak Christianese so fluently I don’t even recognize it any more, and I still have a crippling addiction to porn. No matter what words are coming out of my mouth, no matter how many confessions I make or prayers I pray, the truth is that part of me really does believe that porn, or alcohol, or video games, or cigarettes, or work or whatever, is what I really need.
I have a real fear that by questioning what I believe and why, that I am betraying my faith and betraying Jesus. But God’s word says, ‘The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.’
Since I started this Pilgrimage, I haven’t spent as much time as normal in the Bible, and my prayers sometimes have the F-Bomb in them, but they’re much more real. The time I do spend in the Word doesn’t have an agenda attached. In fact, as long as this post is 40 pages long anyways, I don’t like to witness to people because deep down I feel like ‘How can I possibly tell them this stuff is true when I know that I am not really free the way Jesus said I would be?’
Freedom to me will be sharing Christ with someone without guilt because I know He actually healed me and actually set me free, and He wants to do the same for them.”
“Beliefs have power, but only in our own psychology. We all know that there’s got to be something better for us, a better answer, than just using pornography (and whatever other self-harming answers we apply), but ‘obviously’ part of us doesn’t know that/believe that.
Is that the part that then isn’t affected by our psychology? And the answer here seems to be ‘faith,’ some mixture of courage and curiosity.
So Faith plays a roll in the part where I can’t talk myself into believing something else about my life and porn?
Is this because it helps me move into the place of pain instead of away from it? Like Jesus looking toward the cross, knowing there was another side to it… that someday there’d be resurrection.
Super interesting thoughts. I’m definitely going to need to chew on this, but I find solace in knowing there’s more to this than just ‘getting myself to believe’ that porn is not a good answer.”
“Since this seems like the best place possible to be real, I’ve tried so many things for so many years that I have become completely numb to any hope that I can be free. I’m 32, and I’ve now spent more of my life looking at porn that not. I just keep coming back to this deep frustration: what is so wrong with me that I am still struggling with porn after I’ve done so much to rid myself of it? The things these guys are saying… that freedom IS possible. Even for me. I want to believe it, and I’m listening.”
“Really enjoying the journey with other men – the community is such a healing container. Thanks.”
“I am so thankful to God for this Pilgrimage with all you guys. The very fact that we [have a place to] share-even the crap that hurts, is a sign that God is working and winning.”
“Wow. If something is real you don’t have to believe in it. You can move forward and experience it. Wow. Love it”
“Looking forward to this journey. May I find lasting freedom and begin to live a life of joy instead of shame.”
“I am starting to realize already underlying pain. Even yesterday I was wrestling with an as-of-now unknown source of deep pain that is pointing to abuse in my early childhood. I didn’t know how to deal with it. Didn’t even really know how to process it, but just recognizing that the anger was pointing to something deeper brought some level of ability to deal with it differently than I would have before. There is hope ahead. I can catch glimpses of it. Faint, but glimpses all the same.”
“I am so touched by how real these men are being and this is an intimacy that I crave. I know that this comes through creating safe community where I choose to be vulnerable. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I feel that God has led me to this course and I am feeling His Spirit moving within me. Already you are helping me to see my brokenness and I thank God that I know HE is gracious and merciful.”
“After 32 years of struggle, I’ve tried many things to end the cycle. I have more hope today than I’ve had in a long, long time.”
“When I first heard about this, I thought to myself, “For once, something that legitimately sounds like it’s what I’ve been looking for.” Here’s to finding freedom.”
“I am super excited to join this journey. Looking forward to it :)”
“Not a battle, but a journey. What a mental shift and change. I’ve been battling for over 16 years with this. I’m so weary from the ‘battle.’ I’m more than ready to change my perspective on this…”
“I’m excited about starting this journey…. thanks!”
Seth – my god – your book is just wrecking me. I am one of the many of us, disillusioned ex-evangelicals who became an atheist and then needed to find peace with the Jesus haunting my unconscious. Studied philosophy at university of Colorado, now majoring in psych because I want to be a counselor. I would love to tell you my story in greater detail, but more than that I just wanted to say thank you.
As someone who has been in therapy for years and a practicing Buddhist Christian (Vipassana via Jack Kornfield saved my life) I want to thank you for leading the Christian community into greater depth. I have been practicing meditation for years and it’s led me deep into my feelings and body…and has been the direct opposite of what pretty much all of modern American evangelicalism teaches us (repress, suppress, don’t trust your body, you are BAD, etc)
I will definitely recommend your book to others, but I just so badly want to see the Christian Faith incorporate these practices (therapy, meditation, depth psychology, etc) in the coming years.
I was fired from my job as a worship pastor because I couldn’t say all the right things and I tend to use my philosophy background to speak about faith. A common story, but it was threatening to church leaders.
How do we “gain a hearing” from our Christian brothers and sisters and from the establishment? I don’t know. But I think your book and your story are key. One of my favorite books last year was “Without Buddha I Could Not Be a Christian” by Paul Knitter (he’s the Paul Tillich Prof of Theology at Union) and as I recommended it to close friends, they continually said, “That’s too far” which saddened me deeply. I think we need more “bridge books” like yours to let those with ears to hear—and there are increasingly more of those in the younger Christian community—really move into healing and openness.
THANK YOU again Seth!
“Waiting for my books and hungry for change and freedom, I just watched all the videos over the last couple days. Bros! I’m rocked and excited. 10 days sober as of today. No beers, weed or porn. Um yes I’m actually a Christ follower for 16 years. Lol . I’ve had many seasons of battling and having some victories. But I always ended up medicating again. Nothing ever made sense, what’s wrong with me , why can’t I stay free? This was eye opening and groundbreaking stuff for me. Made sense of things for me and made my theology make more sense. I did some processing tonight and remembered abuses and things from my child hood that I had suppressed so deep I forgot about them. After 20-30 minutes of processing the hard knot in my left chest that begin when I quit medicating 10 days ago left! I felt as good or better than I would have if I had medicated. You guys have found a sweet spot with these concepts and teachings. I am so thankful I invested in this program. Going to go back and work through again. Can’t wait for my books to arrive. Bros, for the first time in along time I have hope for freedom. I know I’ve got a long road ahead and I pray for courage . Thanks”
“I believe this program is an answer to my prayer. I few days ago, for the first time, after a porn session, I cried out to God for healing. And I meant the kind of healing they’re talking about in the video, where you can walk past the distractions and it means nothing. The next morning I found out about this program in emails I had been ignoring but was strongly compelled to suddenly open. God wasn’t going to just drop it in my lap, though. I couldn’t afford the registration cost. I had to open up and admit my problem to someone, in order to humble myself and ask for their help to pay. But here I am. And now my pilgrimage begins.”
“My view has completely changed. Putting down my sword and taking this journey has radically changed how I see myself and the world. I could never have imagined the freedom and peace I’m experiencing. It’s been a tough road and when I got lost and wanted to quit Paul and the guys kept me going… Not a battle, an incredible journey to freedom that I never thought was possible.”